“Anxiety is nothing…but repeatedly re-experiencing failure in advance”.

If ever I get nervous or scared again to do something again in life and in football. I’ll re-experience failure in advance. What a waste of time. I have nothing to fear.

I’ve kept it low-profile again this week, although I haven’t been doing any extra “planned” sessions in the mornings or evenings, I did go to the fields yesterday and this evening for an hour or two to work on my shooting + I am playing with my mini ball alot of the time in my small room.

I’ve decided to once and for all combat my “laziness” of not doing extra training by buying around 600 euro of new equipment (yes 600 euro!). It’s being paid all with my own money, and i’m buying the following:

• 3x Nike Omni Fifa Approved Balls (the real ball premier league players train/play with)
• 1x 3.60 x 1.80m Rebounder goal
• 1x 1.10 x 1.10 small target rebounder
• 12x traffic cones
• 10x 1.80 tall pogo sticks
• 1x UltimaGoal rebounder

It’s all going to be used in my backyard, I hope my parents don’t get upset that after a week the yard is going to look like a shithole.  I’ll take a photo once I got it all set up.

I’ve made everything more convenient now, I can just wake up, go to the backyard and train with whatever I have planned. All the stuff should arrive by this week, I hope :S

This Week’s training

I have found before that how you train, affects how you play and the same is true for me this week. I need to make sure that in every training, every kick around with friends, needs to be high intensity just like in a match, otherwise i’ll fail. I just realised that my goal is to be in a premier league academy within the next 15 months! I really gotta work very hard! I can’t just give a 100%, but a 110% every time.

That’s all for now, onto next week!

So this evening I got back from London and after watching Chelsea get beat yesterday by Man City at stamford bridge and stupid math homework I just wrote random answers to so I could get it done, i’m not feeling the happiest. But on the good side, going to England and training and playing with competitive youngsters and just getting the experience of playing english football was well worth it. I have come to a conclusion now that after I finish my studies at school, it would be my dream to be..

Living in England/Europe and Playing for a Premier League Academy or Top Level Team

Working Part Time on my Business’

That’s my short-term goal right now and I have about a year and a half to achieve it, time goes fast so i’m working towards the short-term dream from tomorrow, I’m committed!

Reflecting upon the three, two hour trainings with AFC Wimbledon this is what I learnt. What training mostly consisted of were passing drills and one-two touch drills. We never did any fitness sessions, however most of the drills were done at high intensity. The academy team has some good players, however the coaching staff weren’t amazing. I thought Mark the head coach was a good guy, but he didn’t have full discipline over the players, I thought at times he laughed to much with them and could of dealt with heavier consequences to those who were misbehaving in the change rooms or something. The two other coaching staff could of put in more input at times and I don’t know.. I just didn’t think it was professional enough.

Monday:

• Leant they play at a high pace and touch has to be good but it was nothing hard I could handle it easy.
• Other players finishing is better than mine

Tuesday:

• Learnt that so many players are undisciplined (for example players talking when the coach is talking)
• Have to be strong physically.
• Standing tackiling was very poor, got beaten through the legs a million times!
• Haven’t seen a player that really wants it, that gave it their all to be noticed, to win balls, etc.

Friday:

• Finishing was poor, striking with laces needs more power.

The other things I found is that touch is really important, which the pros have said before but now I really now how valuable a good touch is when in high intensity, fast pace situations. Speed also helps alot in my opinion.

The Overall Wrap Up from the Coach

I wasn’t exceptional and he didn’t go wow I really need that player on my team.
I was there with the standard of players, but not in the high standard bracket.
I need to be stronger physically.
Use inside of the foot more.
He said I didn’t look quick on the pitch, but probably because it was a small pitch.
I looked ok technically.
Times where I looked like I got pushed off the ball.
Need to make faster decisions.
Need to kick some playing habits out of my game, he didn’t say what exactly.

So the three most important things i’ve learnt about myself in my time there and that need to be improved in order to make it where I want is:

Be 10/10 in some areas so I am considered an exceptional player

Faster decision making

Strength on and off the ball

The next trial I want to go to is for the open trials at the Bolton International Academy in three or four weeks time, will keep you updated if I decide to go or not.

Otherwise, I will keep working hard to become an world class footballer!

So last night after watching Will Smith’s video on wisdom, I became really motivated. I have this red, mini football I got from my club’s Christmas party.  I set a unreasonable target for myself that I would get 100 juggles with this mini ball by the end of the night. I could barley do 10 or 15 kick ups to start, my record was probably about 20, but I never stopped believing that I wouldn’t get 100 and eventually I got closer and closer until around two hours later YES! I got over 100 juggles.

So basically what seemed like an impossible task to start wasn’t actually impossible at all, it was just a state of mind.

I have also just come back home from a pretty hard fitness training, I hate them so much but I have realised that in order for me to become one of the best players that ever lived I need to have tough mental challenges for myself and so things like that is good for me and now I am enjoying it, that while i’m going through physical exhaustion that the exhaustion is just a state of mind, by body telling me that I can’t keep going. But in truth I can and like Will Smith says “I’m not afraid to die on the treadmill” ha ha

I want to be legendary not only for my performances on the pitch but off the pitch too.

I want to be admired by millions of people as someone who was nothing to something with companies worth hundreds of millions of dollars as well as living the life as a footballer. I will go down in history as a player that lived with everything, an object of success in football. I can help hundreds of millions of people, football can be the platform to do so.

I want to be a leader, a motivator on the pitch, a player un-fearful of any opponent. I will not treat a player like a God, I will analyse them and study how they are successful and then become better then they are.

I can be all of these things.

Hi again, I’m pleased to say alot of good stuff has happened since my last entry.

Let’s start off with Tuesday. I know this is a one time thing but it’s these little performances like this that give me more confidence. YES! I played noticeably better than the undisputed “best player” in the team named Flo. Same height, about an year older, been with the club for many years, had a trial with Aston Villa and most intimidating of all.. he has an beard. In an 45 minute training match I took the ball off him at least 3 times, scored more and overall played better and he wasn’t having a bad day.

I didn’t think I could really do this a year ago and didn’t think I was capable of, but now I have and like I said it’s a confidence booster.

Our famous coach returned to coach us again on Tuesday after not being able to coach for the last couple of months because of knee surgery.

His words of wisdom taught me not to pass the ball into a player in tight space and rather dummy it and turn the other way where a player is in space, switching the ball.

He also told me not to sprint to get the ball left and right when playing upfront as it only tires you out. So wait until the ball is played to an appropriate distance where the midfielders would be pushing closer to you and then go in for the kill. I think I saved a lot of energy by doing this which is why I think I got a lot more tackles in and played better.

Scenario: Holding the ball, back turned to two players trying to take the ball away, I stand there shielding the ball not trying to get out the situation, I lose the ball. The Solution: Coach says that when I have the ball and am sooner or later going to get the ball taken off me then do something because you’ll get the ball taken off either way.

These things I need to improve on are not to do with skill but play intelligence. The biggest concern I have with myself is knowing what to do after I receive the ball and this is my #1 to get better at.

We had these two 1991 players who came in training today that play for Honved FC in the first division of the Hungarian League. Actually, I was told that they play for the reserve Honved side which actually play in the 2nd division. They played wicked fast and were very pacey. Even though these guys are about two years older than me and play at a high level, I could still keep up, but they took the ball off me a couple of times and this is because I don’t react quick enough, I relax too much on the ball, my mind tempo isn’t in sync with the playing tempo. Again this is to do with knowing what to do after I receive the ball.

Back to the coach, I talked to him while he was dropping me off home in his car. I told him I got a one week trial with AFC Wimbledon in February. A TRIAL!?!? Yup, but I wasn’t spotted or anything. I called up Wimbledon’s academy manager and he basically said I could have a weeks trial with them. I have really no idea about what an conference side’s academy side is like but I heard it is at a good level so I’m gonna go check it out and give myself a test there.

Back to the story, coach then told me that John (assistant coach) and himself believe that I’ve worked really hard since September and have improved which I agree on actually
His main concern is about my position. He doesn’t know if I’m a winger, striker or a right back.
He says if he could find out the right position for me that I could be an country international player. If not, then an average player for the 6th division of english football. He says if I keep working hard, then in the next six months he could take me on trials with Belgium as well as English clubs along with Flo (the guy I played better than)

I’ve been doing extra training at home and local field for about twice a week, mainly focusing on doing 500 one touch passes against a wall with 50 passes in a row each time without stuffing it up. I must of done double that considering I did stuff up an awful amount of times.

So it’s been positive, my first touch has improved, my shooting is better, I dribble more I feel as though I’m much more confident.
I’m starting to think that all it takes is self belief and practice.

I have an Hungarian tournament to go to with the team tomorrow and an friendly on Sunday. Football weekend and exams next week :S

Anyway If I keep up what I’ve been doing lately and work even harder the dream of signing a professional contract is maybe a reality. Wow.
I’d like to go out with a clip I found from nikefootball. Talk to you next week!